Bella Hadid, the daughter of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Yolanda Hadid, said recently that she “wasn’t super comfortable in Mohamed’s house as a kid.”
Was it because of differing religions, culture or life experiences? No, Bella Hadid explained that visiting her dad’s lavish and luxurious homes “made her feel a bit uneasy while growing up.” She reflected upon the weekends that she stayed over his house, she felt like she was living a “borrowed life.”
From a psychological and behavioral perspective, when one feels as though they are living a “borrowed life,” they experience intense feelings of being lost while attempting to meet the expectations of others. This can happen when children, teens and young adults try fervently to meet the demands of their parents, teachers and mentors at the expense of achieving their own personal goals and realizing their own dreams that they have for themselves.
Another corollary to living a borrowed life is the “imposter syndrome.” For young kids, adolescents and teens, regardless of celebrity, income or social status, these feelings can be harmful for young kids, adolescents and teens.. How so? When your child seeks to individuate from you as their parent, ie become their own person, establish their own unique identities, and identify their own preferences, interests and hobbies; they are merely beginning the process of healthy maturation.
Individuation is a psychological term to represent a vital stage in human development where teens and young adults start to find themselves, and define who they are. At this stage, your child may begin to assert their own individual and independent identity and establish a cohesive sense of self.
If this critical phase of the maturation process isn’t allowed to fully develop, your child runs the risk of lacking a clear sense of who they are. They may start to feel uneasy seeking their own personal goals when they perceive that their goals differ or are in conflict with those of their parents. The website Good Therapy indicates, that as a result of this cognitive dissonance, “feelings of depression and anxiety may result.”
Another potential consequence is the imposter syndrome. This is a condition in which the suffer believes that he/she is not as competent, worthy or as capable as others perceive them to be and can lead also to depression and anxiety. Even though we are talking about celebrity stars, family members of reality tv cast members; feelings of inadequacy can impact us all. Here are a few real housewives tips, suggestions and recommendations to lessen the threat to you, your family and your loved ones.
Real Housewives Tips for You
A real housewives tip for you and your family could be to:
- Ensure that your child’s room is decorated with items, toys, stuffed animals and games of interest to them.
- Commit to allowing your child to take with them, cherished toys, stuffed animals and games to play dates with family members who share custody.
- Take time to listen to your child daily about his/her personal interests, dreams and goals.
- Spend family time playing the preferred activities of your child.
- Listen to the feedback your child provides to you when communicating with them and playing with them.
- Dial down your expectations of your child.
- Refrain from living your life through your child, ie if you were great sports player or cheerleader, band marshal in high school, do not automatically assume that your child wants to follow in your footsteps.