Real Housewives Tips for You

House Wives Vs The Great American Bail Out

While watching some of the sound bites they allow you to see, I have seen two common threads of fact while watching the great American bank robbers. The first one is the congressional committees, which I like to call the “getaway drivers” mainly due to the fact that they are now working on giving my future great grandchildren money. Now, I ask you, how is that for success on their part? But these lawyers can’t possibly do this on their own, without the help of their accomplices, dumbing down, doping up the American public who continue to vote them back into office again. The next general thread I see is on beggars and they are always men. Real men, by the way, real men in the truest sense of the word, because real men never ask for direction, never ask for anything, they work hard when times get tough. These are men in name only, and despite their small stature, they have the right plumbing. One thing that they have in common among them is that they have a huge set of megaliths on their fruits of loom and they always show up with $5000. The beggar’s suit.

So far, two different types of begging strategies have been used, first used by the international banking cartel on Wall Street. Now, obviously, this method worked really well and not only did they get my wealth and the wealth of my children, they walked away with more than half of my grandchildren’s wealth as well. And to show their appreciation, they threw lavish parties, went on expensive vacations, and more golden parachutes never showed up like this throughout their landing on Normandy Beach during World War II. They simply said you give us this money or they will have chickens, cows and pigs flying through the air because of earthquakes, hurricanes and tornadoes, it all hits the fan! Congress confronted them, bent down and said ok, here goes, can I help you carry it in an armored car? The banker simply said no, but the next time you return to town, you can offer that service again.

The next begging technique was obviously flawed. Yes, they fly in private corporate jets and they are all $5000. suit, but these are people who are simply trying to get away with the car and get a piece of that action. This obviously did not go over well with Congress, so they sent them home telling them they needed a better ransom note than that to get over. So these suits went back to Detroit to have a meeting about what color crayons they should use for the next note.

If Sarah Palin had been on that congressional committee, she would have settled down and dressed for at least $10.50. One day the suits tanned their lairs and made comfortable bedroom slippers out of them. Was it because she was a Republican running for Vice President? No, it actually made her breathless as she was shaken by an old man who had forgotten why he was running for any office and which party he was running for for a while. Was it because she was a politician? No, every time she speaks, she’s not a politician. It’s because she is a housewife! A housewife with children, no less! So, this only qualifies her to deal professionally with politicians and men, hell, you won’t have any more anger when you try and check off b.s. or one of these types! Ask us how we know so much.

So, if we are really serious about fixing what is wrong with our country, I say we vote out all politicians and vote in housewives all over the United States. Their first week in office will have giraffes’ deep honey dewy asses. Things will be done soon or they will be done next week with starch in your shorts, you can best be sure. So, getting your American job back will never be a problem. And as long as you do not pull your weight around here or go to your room without dinner, there is no welfare for you. For the first time in history Congress will have a budget and be bound by it, just visualize men with $5000 to laugh at. Come to ask for things, a bunch of housewives and suits that have to be depressed! Ha! When they were done with them, they would rather have tried to push a stick of butter up the lion’s ass with a hot poker in the phone booth! I could just hear it now, “Try and take my kid’s piggy bank, will you threes a bag? If you buy us all the dresses we’ve seen in vogue and give us 700 billion, we might just let you walk out of here with your ass intact! What about threats?